My Coping Skills
By Dalia
Hey there, my name is Dalia! I, like most people, have things in my life that stress me out. I have learnt that I can’t avoid these stressors, because if I could I would probably be hiding in my room 24/7. So I have found my own ways to cope with them.
Here are a few of my personal favourites–and why.
Call A Friend
In my experience, calling a friend is a great way to sit with the intrusive thoughts you might be feeling one night. It can be someone you don’t talk to normally or someone you chat with all the time. It doesn’t matter, honestly.
And no, you don’t have to talk about what's upsetting you. You could play iMessage games, share stories about your day, or even laugh about random things you saw during the day.
The idea is not to try to fix/change the thoughts that are impacting your mood and stress level; it is to distract yourself from stressful thoughts while you are subconsciously sitting with them. Let them vibe in your mind, but don’t let them overwhelm you. After a while, if you feel safe enough to talk about what is bugging you, then do so.
However, I have learned that sometimes we have to acknowledge that we don’t really know why we are feeling stressed and for better or worse just have to sit through it.
Take A Bath
Sure, you could take a shower, but specifically taking a bath has its benefits, and it has been a great strategy for me. You get to immerse yourself in the warm water and sit with your thoughts. It is even possible to dip your head under the water and listen to the sounds of your breathing, movement, and the areas around you–Don’t forget to come up for air though!
Sometimes, I find it helpful to tune into my senses. For instance, what kind of sound could you look for exactly? Try to listen for water dripping out of the spout, focus on your breathing, or play some music. I have found that all of these sounds will be amplified underwater as well - which is why I enjoy it.
This method can help you safely sit with those thoughts as you let the wave of stress ride through your mind.
Pet An Animal
Animals can help humans cope with stressful situations, it has worked for me! Give your dog or cat some love. Let them sit with you while you watch tv, or lay in bed.
You don’t necessarily have to play with them, but I have found that sitting in the presence of another living, breathing thing can help ground you and bring you back into reality. My bunny is my personal favourite cuddle buddy (pictured here).
Her name is Snickerdoodles. We work because she doesn’t like being held, but rather prefers getting head pets while in the comfort of her cage. So instead of me fiddling with my fingers, I use that energy to pet her.
All I'm saying is, give it a try. Humour me. You don’t know if it will work for you unless you give it a go right?
4. Read A Book
Now a personal favourite genre of mine is coming-of-age books. Mainly because I feel like I can relate to them, and hopefully you can too. I especially like authors that write books around mental health and help erase the stigma around it. If you are looking for a book to read try (what I consider to be) classics - “The Perks of Being a Wallflower'', “Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock”, and “All The Bright Places”.
These books cover heavy topics but are really worth the read. They helped me put words to what I was going through, and part of the stress in my life is not knowing why I feel the way I do. Reading these books gave me the chance to reflect and by doing that, it helped my stress. Long story short, read books about things you are also going through.
5. Crochet
Okay, so I am a little biased with this one - I am a crochet fanatic. Honestly, it could be doing any hobby you enjoy, but crocheting is super fun and it has really helped me when I needed to sit with my thoughts.
Anyone can do it. It requires like 90% of your attention (100% if you are new to the game) and because of that you are automatically distracted and you are creating something awesome. That's what I call a win-win.
As I said, you don’t need to be a pro at the craft, making a little animal is perfect too. Yarn is super affordable and you can also thrift it. On top of that, you are busy using your hands and it's keeping you busy.
I know some people (me included) fidget when stressed, so putting my hands to work is very helpful for me. Don’t want to sit in silence? No problem bestie, I got you.
Cue your favourite songs or listen to one of the playlists on this very website. I have a specific music taste but if you asked me to name a song I could not tell you. Lucky us, we have the playlist I mentioned above.
Have fun crocheting!
All in all, these methods are what have worked for me, and I really, really hope they help you in some way. Alter them if need be, i.e. if you don't have a bath, drench yourself in shower water. Or if you have no bars and can’t talk to a friend, ask a sibling to play a board game with you.
You could even do a puzzle as a hobby if you don’t feel like starting something new. Point is, these ideas are all options and have the amazing ability to be altered to suit anyone's needs. They put you on the right track, and it's up to you whether you go left or right.
